Apologies to those of you who read my humble little blog for my absence over the past month. University has had me in a headlock.
In all honesty I haven’t wanted to write anything on here because my thoughts have been so exceptionally negative recently and I haven’t wanted to expose people to that. It’s pretty damn hard writing a motivational blog post when every day I am battling with myself. I have a battle just to get out of bed, to eat breakfast, to shower, to get dressed, and then the biggest battle of all, to leave the house. Getting out of the front door is the hardest part of my day, the next hardest part is entering either university or work. Once I am there I am anxious, I am exhausted, I am unmotivated and I am irritable. I am in a dark place.
Just so I don’t worry anyone too much, I am getting professional help at the moment. I am a responsible person and I have supportive friends and family, so this dark place is very often filled with light, and it is my mission to return to it.
Obviously, losing weight has been put on the backburner whilst I try and deal with keeping my mind healthy. Eating well is a part of that, but if I want a brownie when I feel like it, I am going to eat a brownie. If I feel like eating a salad, I’ll eat a salad. If all I want to do is drink smoothies, so be it. Equally, if I feel like going for a walk, dancing around and running about I will do that, but relaxing in bed is just as important for me right now.
It’s not all depressive stuff going on, my Mum is coming home! Just for me! This is the best news I could have hoped for. She will be here to listen, to cuddle, and to take me out walking, for coffees and wines. We are going to have the best girl times and it will be the perfect end to a hellish term at university. So excited!
I have also started hip-hop dance classes, because I love hip-hop and I love to dance. I am doing them with one of my best friends and her Mum and we had our first class last night. It was awesome.
So things are on the up! For the next wee while I will be focusing on university, getting my mind healthy and trying to rediscover that spark that makes me, me!