My Body Image Story: Part Two – University and Beyond

I left you guys at such a suspenseful moment! Hope you’re excited to hear more about my life…

1

An 18 year old me!

That month in the UK at the end of high school, when I had just turned 18, was one of the most revelation filled adventures of my life. I realised that I was smitten with the boy who loved me and that I couldn’t be without him – distance makes the heart grow fonder for sure. I also gained a lot of weight very quickly without realising and I very vividly remember standing on the scales in a bathroom in Hong Kong in tears after seeing that I was 72kg – the heaviest I had been in my life. I decided that day to actually do something about my weight, because I was so unhappy.

When I came back to New Zealand I started the Low GI diet, began walking everywhere and had one of the best summers of my life. I lost 6kg and I was so happy and confident with my body that I flaunted it in bikinis, for the first time ever, on a road trip with my friends. Just before I started my first year of University I told the boy that I liked him, we started a relationship and I was the most happy I had ever been. I fell in love very quickly, I was so comfortable with this amazing guy and university was so exciting! Life was great. This was the first time in my life that I felt sexy and was made to feel sexy. I was in love, I loved my body, I loved my life.

Being with that guy for two years and being so in love made me so unaware of what I was eating and my lack of exercise. I ate what he ate, and he was 6 ft 4” so of course I gained weight! It wasn’t until we started having relationship issues, and I began unreasonably blaming him for making me feel unattractive, that I realised I was unhappy with my body. I wanted to do something about it, and my Mum also wanted to do something about her weight, so we joined Weight Watchers together. It wasn’t until I stepped on the scales that I had an “Oh my God, I need to fix this NOW” moment. 77.7kg was written on my card and I could have cried. Instead of dwelling on it though, I just used it to fuel my weight loss motivation.

3

Me at my heaviest in 2011

Joining Weight Watchers was the best decision; there was support, the programme was flexible and focused, it was easy to understand and follow, I was made to feel accountable. Doing it with my Mum was even better, she was such a great support and she was so focused. We both lost a lot of weight very easily.

When my relationship with that boy ended, I didn’t stop trying. If anything, it fuelled my desire to become a new, improved version of myself. I travelled and I changed and grew as a person. I stopped secretly binge eating and I started to fuel my body with good foods. I started running four times a week. I reached my goal weight of 62kg in August 2012 but actually weighed in at 58.9kg!! I was glowing, I was radiant, I was fit and I was so freaking proud of myself.

2

My Mum and I when I was at my lightest.

In November 2012 I got surgery to fix my shoulder that I had problems with, which put me out of exercising for 6 months. I took a gap year after graduating in 2013 and travelled to Europe and I ate a lot of pasta, pizza and gelato. Before I knew it I had gained back 8kg! I found it very hard to get back to being fit as I was essentially starting at the beginning again. Last year was tough and I turned to food. At 23, I now weigh about 69kg.

It sucks that I have gained back some of the weight that I lost. I’ll admit that, but guess what guys? I no longer have serious body image issues or food issues. I don’t get food guilt because I don’t label food as “naughty” or “good”. I know what to eat to fuel my body well. I have a healthy relationship with my body; I am pretty and sexy and curvy and yes, a little chubbier than I’d like to be, but I’m working on that. Admittedly, I would love to get back to where I was weight wise, but I have a new focus. Instead of losing weight to hit a certain number, I want to focus more on how I eat, what I eat and my exercise. I want to be fit, toned and healthy and I want to maintain this lifestyle for the rest of my life.

I am so glad you have joined me in this phase of my weight loss journey because I am bursting with knowledge, motivation and a new outlook. I am not qualified to tell you what to eat, how to lose weight, or how to motivate you along your journey, but I hope that by following me along my journey you’ll be inspired to start researching, to start connecting with your mind and body in a more positive way and you’ll focus on creating a healthy life for yourself too.

 

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 XO

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