It’s officially chocolate day! Yay! Hope you have all had a wonderful day filled with family and chocolate and religious-y stuff – if that’s your thing. I started my day off hungover as hell (I drank like 2 wines last night, this is torture), but thankfully, due to the extra hour in bed (daylight savings, thank you!) I made it to the family church to celebrate Easter, as is our tradition. I returned home to find that the Easter Bunny had visited me. No joke. A trail and a surprise at the end. Thanks Dad for remembering that although I’m 23 sometimes, I am actually 5 most of the time. Yuss.
Food & Exercise
Do I actually need to say anything after that picture? Basically, I ate a lot of hot cross buns and chocolate because it is only Easter once a year. And that’s about it. I did learn this week that I definitely should not ever drink ever, because a couple of drinks leads to awful hangovers. It’s really not worth it. Going to stick to the soda and lime from now on!
I didn’t move.
I had this ambition to take photos of my breakfast every day last week, but it didn’t happen, so I think I might actually do that this week. If I don’t eat breakfast my day of eating turns into handfuls of cookies and millions of coffees. With breakfast, I’m usually pretty savvy. So, breakfast!
Go on three runs. DO IT. Running is good.
To be completely honest, I’m not in a great space today. I very nearly wasn’t going to write a post today because I just wanted to curl up in bed, eat lots of chocolate and cry. Feelings, ugh. But, I am making myself write this, because I knew it would make me feel a little bit better, and it has.
I have a lot on at the moment in terms of work, university and my life, which is great. Being busy is the best thing for me! However, my anxiety is getting a little bit worse because of my heart.
My heart belongs to someone who is too broken to accept it. What we have is pretty cool whatever label you put on it. I want to test the waters of something more than a friendship though, but he has told me that he is too broken to do that. I don’t care that he is broken, I am broken too. Obviously. I’m enjoying being his friend, but my heart just keeps falling for him because he is way too cool. Damn it.
Why can’t we just be brave and see what happens? Should I run away and lose a friendship that I care about? Is it even a friendship if it is already starting to bring this much confusion? Do I stick around and hope that my heart shuts the hell up? Will he read this and freak out?
I just don’t know.
Due to my confusion I just keep hanging around him like a little, forlorn puppy and I’m starting to annoy myself. I think I annoy him too, because he tells me to chill out sometimes and I make this face
I just want him to kiss my face or stop being so wonderful, basically.
Focus my heart confusion into my university and work life. Stop thinking about kissing. Just be cool. Drink lots of tea and exercise and look after me.
[This week it is all about ME, again]
Maybe I’ll go to bed and wake up and I will have been blessed with calmness and patience and a kiss and an ability to resist eating chocolate and cake?
One can dream.
Anyway, at least in my weird state of mind I can still be silly and show my love for chocolate bunnies. So, to you all I say again, Happy Easter!